Wednesday 17 July 2013

5b: Posture - Review

Ease: 9/10
Interest / spiritual value: 9.5/10

I did the postures and thought about God being in front of me: and it was the WEIRDEST experience.

Even though I had my eyes closed I imagined this big light; and there was - hard to explain it - God standing there. And so I didn't say anything because if God was really there I think I'd be too scared to.

I tried standing first. It ached a bit as I don't like standing still for long, but it was probably the one where if God was actually in front of me, I'd be most shocked. If I was sitting down I'd feel more relaxed, small and safe, but standing felt more vulnerable - vulnerable to Gods power. If you were standing before God what would he say to you? Look at all these wrong things you've done? God always expects better, it says so in the Bible. When I was standing I felt like God was telling me off.

Kneeling didn't really feel right: I wouldn't kneel in front of God, I'd rather stand or preferably sit down. When I was kneeling it felt like an interview with God, it was  traumatising: I felt small, with no protection. I imagined a picture in my head, in heaven - kneel here in front of Gods big desk - and he starts interviewing you and telling you all the wrong things you've done in your life and the few good things you've done. And all the time I'm hoping God will let me into heaven - which he probably would, because he forgives, but it was still pretty horrible.

Sitting down was the easiest, because it was much more relaxing. I didn't have such a strong picture in my head as I felt much more relaxed, which gives you more time to pray. God was there - I imagined the bright light - but I was just getting on with praying in front of God. So I prayed about the train explosion and the floods and so on.

Lying down was really strange but definitely my favourite because of what happened. For the first minute or so I was just settling down and trying to close down my senses and stuff and imagine God, and so I was saying the Lord's Prayer. And then - a bit like that bit in the Bible where God calls Jonah - it was as if there was a bright light over my bed, and a voice saying the Lords Prayer with me. That only lasted quite briefly and I lay there for a bit longer hoping it would come back but nothing more happened. That was a lovely experience and Id really like it to happen again.